Stupid Courtroom Gaffes ever made.

I was just browsing through www.funny.com earlier recommended by a friend and decided maybe there are some really funny jokes there. Yeap it sure was funny alright so i continued reading and reading until i came across this joke titled - Courtroom Gaffes.

I thought it was kind of funny how attorneys at the courts will ever ask such stupid questions.
Well it was said that this courtroom gaffes was reported in the Massachusettes Bar Association Lawyers Journal and the following is the 22 non-sensical questions that was being asked.

"Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"
- Okay first of all he knew that the person died-ed already and how the heck is he going to know even if it is the next morning or watsoever ? He is dead right ? No ? I know why his spirit would soon reside by him the next morning and realise he is dead.

"The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?"
- Heh, i think he just said it. Twenty, no?

"Were you present when your picture was taken?"
- *roll eyes* No, it was my clone.

"Were you alone or by yourself?"
- And the difference is ... ?

"Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?"
- It was me. This is not me speaking but my spirit. I just came back to give my testimony in court. -_-

"Did he kill you?"
- Oh yes. This is my dead body talking.

"How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"
- Ha ha.

"You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
- Er, duh.

"How many times have you committed suicide?"
- I think the attorney here meant to say "How many times have you TRIED committing suicide ?". Or maybe he believes in humans having more than one life hence they can commit suicide multiple times.

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
- Lol.

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
- No. The rest was gender unknown. -_-"

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
- Lolxxx. I don't think any stairs was actually made to only go up and not down unless of course its an escalator.

Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
A: I went to Europe, Sir.
Q: And you took your new wife?
- No. I decided to take the neighbor's new wife instead. Watthefuck, of course laa you take your newlywed wife on the honeymoon. What kind of question is that ?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
- *smacks forehead emo-ishly*

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
- I think the attorney here can't diffrentiate between he and she.

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
- Hehe.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
- Are there autopsies on live people by the way ??

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
- Hehe. What a prick answering this question.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m..
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
- I think i would have answer it that way too.

Q: You were not shot in the fracas?
A: No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
A: I have been since early childhood.

And the funniest of all ...

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

Daily laughter just for fun.

I thought it would be funny if i was in a courtroom and some attorney actually asked some similar question to these.