Because i'm ignorant

The love in our relationship has passed the stage where its been so saturated there's almost nothing left. I don't know why am i holding back right now when i know i have no regrets in letting go of what we had for these two years. Its been so long since i've made up my mind but now that i found that you have been moving on its even harder for me to accept that this is really the end.

The end of the end of us never really meant the end. We never fought in these two years but the moment we tore apart is where all the fighting took place. Me trying to fight loose while you trying to put us together. It feels like only yesterday we talked again but now we seem so distant from each other. I never imagined that i can feel this way because i was the one that let go of us in the first place. Why would my mind be playing tricks on me now after everything is undone ? Is it just a part of our history now that we've been in love ? Is our love not strong enough to go thru every weather ? Was i wrong for pushing you too far away because of what i wanted ?

I thought we'd still be good friends after everything guess i thought wrong. You said you still care only you didn't want me to know that you still do. I know i SHOW that i don't care but part of me still cares what do you do everyday and whether do you still think of me. I know that i am selfish for still wanting you to care about me like you still do even when now we're not together anymore but isn't all human being selfish ? Is it so wrong to want someone who used to love you with all their heart to at least just care a little more than they should ?

What the heck do i really want now ? I know i don't want it back but i still want him to care.

Because i know deep down inside me i feel that my heart is breaking silently every night without my consent.

And that sucks big time because i know i can do nothing about it now. I'm in between emotions of letting my heart love again.

So close yet so far.