Tearing down the past

Am hearing to Chris Brown's Say goodbye at the moment and feeling a lil emo-ish all night long. I don't know what has been bugging me.. 2007 has been a rocky road for me. Felt almost as if i had a long ride on a still rollercoaster. It has its ups and downs and its round of deja vus. Its not easy letting go of a person you once loved for so long, i just felt that today after a month of not feeling anything.

Today also marks the day where i took of my ring which i wore faithfully for the past 2 years and i don't think i've ever felt so much heartache and pain that i never knew before. But like wat Lis said people don't die from heartaches they only wished they did. I know i'm not dying or anything but i guess maybe the closure of the chapter is just as hard as any other closure.

It has not been easy but i know i will be alright.. I know i am not in love with him anymore but i just can't pretend that i had stopped caring because i know somewhere deep down inside me i still do but it just remains to be something silent and still for now.

Most of the time people fall in love for no reasons and it is always unexplainable how feelings developes and i guess its the same when you fall out of love for someone. The reason i know deep down in my heart is the same reason i felt months ago. When the way you touch a person or the way your eyes don't shine or the way you slowly let go of the hands of the person you once loved changes then its a sign that the chapter is meant to be closed.

I closed my chapter a month ago after months of telling myself i can still do this but deep down inside i know i want otherwise.

How do you let go of someone who was once so important in your life ? How did the feelings faded when all he did was try his best to make you happy? How did i feel so indifferent and what made him call me 'cold blooded' and not giving him a chance to prove that maybe things can work out ?

I don't even know what i want anymore but all i know this is the day on the dot after a month i am finally tearing down the past and letting go of everything slowly and crying my eyes out.

I deserve this.

This pain i'm feeling and letting go of something is so indescriable but i'm glad that i am finally moving on.