The things my best friends say that cracks me up.

Jac : Eh you know today i woke up feeling damn happy.
Me : Cos its your birthday kann ?
Jac : Yeah but you know right this morning .. i ate my yoghurt as usual and then i pooed and my poo was damn pretty.
Me : O-keh. So thats why you're happy ?!
Jac : Yeahhh !! You have to look at your shit you know to make sure its healthy.
Lis : What do you mean by your shit is pretty ? How is it like ?
Jac : Well its like long and its not like one piece one piece lah ..
Me : Okay you can stop now.
Reen: So did you like touch your shit or what ?!
Jac : Duh ..
Reen : YOU DO ?!!?!?
Jac : Duh , no laah. What the heck.
Reen : So what color is it ?

Jac points to the color of Reen's bag ..

Lis : OMG your shit is gold ? No wonder you're happy !
Me : HAHAHAHAHAHA. What do you mean anyway that your shit is pretty ?!
Reen : Does it mean like its smiling at you or what ..
Me : Maybe it has flowers on them.